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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?